The Motivation of Doubt (Part II)

The Birkie just got a lot scarier. I entered the ski season confident and excited. Now after two weekends of skiing, I am filled with trepidation and looking for a jolt of confidence. During the past several months I have worked hard to establish a level of fitness that will help me grind my way through the Birkie.  I don't expect or yearn for a good time...my only goal is to finish (in under five hours). Today I am feeling like I bit off too much...like this year I should have skied the Kortelopet and saved the Birkie for next year. Skiing is a completely different game. I know I am fit, I know that I can run for a long time without stopping. And yet with skiing I must stop and regather some energy. Skiing is hard. Harder than I thought. Although today I made progress.

Yesterday afternoon, in an attempt to work on my technique, I drove down to Blue Mound State Park, where The Mad Nordic Ski Club was offering free lessons to its members. It was a terrific experience. I was able to work in a group of four--one instructor and three students. Our instructor Jim spent about two hours with us and worked us through the two most fundamental strides--the V1 and the V2. He also showed us several drills that will help strengthen our stride and our muscle memory. I am basically a one legged skier. What I mean by this is that about 75% of my energy is expounded by striding and poling off my right ski.  Yesterday I learned how to strengthen my left side, and I learned how to V2. Both key strokes.

At Blue Mounds I learned I have no technique. That it isn't my fitness level holding me back, it's my extremely inefficient skating style. At this point my fitness is saving me. It's allowing me to muscle my way up the hills and through the trees. Yet today, at Odana Hills, I skied differently. I spent my entire hour and twelve minutes focusing on my hip transfer, my posture, my knee bend, and especially on holding together my V2 stroke. Each lap is 2.6 miles, and during each of my three laps I gained strength and confidence. I worked hard at staying committed to my ski. At times fatigue brought back my old habits. But today, I was able to think about hip placement...and ski placement...and good technique. When fatigue came, I fought it with better form and deeper breaths. 

By the end of the ski I felt tired, optimistic, and motivated. I learned that I need to ski often. And correctly. I got a reality check about how incredibly difficult this race is going to be. Yet I can also recognize that I have two months of good skiing in front of me. Once again, as I have told myself so many times, I need to trust my fitness.